Not hard enough to rip her hair out or anything, just hard enough to tease her.
Build Sexual Attraction On A Date With These Four Questions
And usually she'll smile and do something "violent" towards me, then I'll pretend like she really hurt me and make her guilty. And, remember, context is everything. This is a girl who I flirted with for a while before I did something like pull her hair. And if she didn't smile and actually didn't like it, I wouldn't have done it again.
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The only other thing I can think of that might help is "agree and escalate". So when she says something "mean" to you that you're not supposed to agree with, agree with it then turn it back on her.
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Think Han Solo in Star Wars. I think this part of the 4 items you listed I am not good at. How do you tease and mock them? I'm really looking for examples, so I can figure it out.
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What I meant to say is that I ask enough questions and I can get the conversation going. There isn't any awkward silences or anything like that. If there's no pauses in the conversation then it shows you're not reflecting on her responses. It's okay to breathe, and smile. So yeah let's work on it then.
And I don't mean a speedo. Find out your best physical attributes and wear things that highlight them. Is it your eyes?
If you have the time, do a little workout before your dates. Get that adrenaline going. You not only look more in shape after a workout, but also feel better and more confident. Don't talk them as a friend, talk them as a date. Don't just friggin touch people, but flirt. Well, I don't know how to do this properly either so you should probably ask someone else. Pick venues that are more open to build "sexual tension.
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Nowhere you get to sit a mile apart because their tables are gigantic. Maybe even somewhere cold where you stand, so you can snuggle a bit if necessary.
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If none of this works, take a shot or two of tequila before the date. Don't do that if you're driving. Maybe it just means the ones that trigger that charm factor are the ones you're meant to be with? Be more assertive than usual. Make it clear that you are here to make a friend and then fuck the shit out of that friend From the wording of your post it is clear you already know what to do.
When I was a 26 year old virgin I made a rule. Don't ever stop the date until you have tried to have sex with her. This ended unsuccessfully in the car asking to come into her house, in the living room asking to go into her room and in the bedroom lifting up her shirt. But after that I was successful more often than not. Make it happen and don't be rapey. I always just tried to have fun.
If they had fun with me and they're not closed off, go for the kiss. If they don't duck, and you end up pushing each other against the fence after dark to make out some more when you're hopping to the next bar because you can't keep your hands off each other: You have established attraction. Either I'm attracted to a person or I'm not. That's what first and second dates are for -- get a feel for the person.
You just have to keep going on dates until you click with someone. If they try to touch me too much or talk about sex I'm probably going to be more weirded out and turned off than not. Yeah I agree on this, but I feel like it's my general lack of being playful or teasing enough to build the attraction. First of all, don't talk about sex. Sex is not a first or second date thing if your looking for a relationship. Sex is a conversation for later. Touching, not really a first date thing, but as for a second date, your touching should be light and non-committal.
What I mean about that is she should be able to easily move out of whatever touch you are doing. Examples of how to approach touching: If your leading her somewhere and about to turn a corner, you can put your hand on the small of her back and apply slight pressure to indicate the turn. You can open yourself for a hug when you meet up for the second time. These are all examples of open ended touching that doesn't feel grabbing or controlling. So no long hugs.
Also recognize that when hand holding you aren't attached at a leash. It is okay to let go of her hand if she goes one way and you want to go another. That's a lot harder to describe. Have a set of requirements. A man that smiles too much is not attractive to women. Comment on her answers and go deeper. Have a safety net. Many times, women start asking questions in the beginning of a date.
When they ask questions at the beginning of your date, it might be because they are being socially savvy. They want to get the conversation going. This is a trap that most men fall into.
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They start answering all her questions and let her lead the conversation. You always need to lead the conversation toward your purpose. This question opens the door, ever so slightly, to sexual attraction. Especially if you ask this with a cheeky smile.